The Animal Tries to be a Gentleman

Ask most girls I’ve dated. They will tell you, I was an animal. Not that I was mean or abusive, I was just really rough around the edges. I think I’ve improved over the years, but when I’m with my good old friends, the beast still comes out. This is the Frank the Tank, chugging, pissing, cursing animal. Its far and few between now, but its still been known to happen.

After a series of unsuccessful dates, I’ve decided its time for me to become a gentleman. Its time to turn on the mental filter that I’ve been ignoring for the past 15 years and listen to what it says. Let’s see if I can actually meet someone nice this way. Good idea right? I’m sure its been tried before. I can still be funny and make crude jokes, but don’t take it to the next level. I can still sit close to a woman, but don’t be Mr. Creepy Hands. I can still have some drinks, but don’t go so far that I forget how the night ended. Basically don’t do anything that makes her regret agreeing to go to dinner with me.

So I tried this out. This is the improved new me. Shaved, showered, early, bright smile and clean clothes. Holding open doors, picking up the tab, complementing not just looks but accessories too (and I mean genuine compliments, not empty shit). When we walk down the street, I offer my arm. When we get to the restaurant, I wait for her to be seated. Maintain eye contact. Don’t look at other girls in the area. Nothing fancy, just the way a guy should treat a lady. Don’t try and push for a kiss goodnight. Just get a hug. Call the next day and (if I really mean it) thank her for a lovely evening.

I can’t believe the reaction. Is it me or are women not accustomed to being treated like this? They really seem to get confused by my good behavior. I don’t ham it up, but even the slightest gestures seem to have them amazed. One of my typical dating questions goes like this: If the woman seems to have it all together (brains, personality and looks) I eventually say “You seem to be a really good person, how is it that you’re still single.” The answers I get amaze me. Most say something along the lines of the guys I meet are weirdoes, creepy, cheap, lecherous, expectant, rude to wait staff, mean, pushy. You get the picture.

This is amazing. As males, have we taken such a step down in life that we don’t know how to treat a lady anymore. Why can we somehow hold down very successful jobs in prestigious professional careers (doctors, lawyers, financiers, engineers, entrepreneurs) and yet when we put on our party clothes, we turn into animals. I am occasionally still guilty of the same but I never knew it had gone this far.

Its gone so far that women no a days actually expect it. They are genuinely surprised when you aren’t an asshole. Go figure. I joke with a friend of mine and say I’m giving this whole gentleman thing a try, but truthfully, I really want to stick to it. I figure I can have a reputation either way, I just think I’m better off having one I can be proud of. One that I can tell my parents and younger siblings about.