So I was seeing this woman from out of town for about 2 months. Like I said previously, she never seemed to want to talk on the phone or communicate via email. When we hung out, we seemed to hit it off exceptionally well. Our dates consisted of either me going down there to meet her or her coming here for a day of hanging out. Each date was different and I tried to keep things creative.
The dates were roughly spaced out over the span of bi-weekly, but I did notice that she seemed to be scheduling me for times when she didn’t have anything else going on. In other words, she wasn’t trying to make room in her social schedule for me, she was penciling me in when a spot appeared. This didn’t bother me too much since it was an effort to make the road trip and we’re both adults with fairly busy lives. The nagging feeling in my head was that she wasn’t making as much of an effort as I was.
On our last date, we eventually ended up at this swanky upscale lounge that overlooks the city. We sat around and talked about nothing of real consequence. It seemed to me to be a pretty good date. There was some making out as there had been throughout most of the day. Eventually the conversation switched to the serious side when I told her that I was digging on her and needed to address the 600 pound gorilla in the room… If we kept moving ahead in a relationship, would she be willing to move away from her hometown?
To her credit, she answered truthfully and confessed that this was something that had been weighing on her mind. She said she really didn’t know the answer to that question and couldn’t say one way or the other. After that, we changed the subject and eventually went to dinner. The physical contact was still present and conversation was back to more lighter and fun-hearted topics. At the end of the night, we kissed goodbye and she went home.
Over the next 3 days we exchanged emails. I told her I hoped she wasn’t freaked out by our brief spurt of “serious talk.” In her response, she said it was something that she didn’t look forward to talking about but agreed that we should have all of our cards on the table.
Ten days went by and I hadn’t heard any responses or returned phone calls from her. On top of that, we had made tentative plans for the coming weekend. Since I hadn’t heard from her, I started to wonder if I was being blown off, so I called… No answer. By the time Friday rolled around, I wrote her a message and said since I hadn’t heard from her, I guess it was safe to assume she was no longer interested. I haven’t heard anything back since than.
That was a month ago. I still wonder what spooked her off, but my gut says it was probably the prospect of eventually leaving her hometown. The killer is that if she came forth and said this was it, than it wouldn’t bother me as much.
I’m not a petty person and I certainly have my faults, but this really bothered me. As people in our thirties, it seems to me that we should be mature enough to have the courtesy to return messages. Its actually rude and childish not to. So, once again I go back to the question, was this the right girl for me? And if not, than what was wrong with her? Eventually, the answer came to me. A person who thinks its okay to treat people like that is not the type of person I want to be with. There’s a level a mutual respect in every relationship and in this case, I was not given the respect that I afforded her.
This seems to have been a common thread in a couple of my recent dating experiences. Has the level of respect that people afford one another dropped significantly in recent years? Why is it all of a sudden okay to behave like this and why are people letting others get away with it?
No comments:
Post a Comment